shitwine:

Going to bed on the last day of summer vacation

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hips: ngl

rnikan:

SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

(Source: soulgems)

accidnet:

single and ready 2 flamingle

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(Source: mondegreener)

shrekjpeg:

when u excited about something and ur friend isntimage

raidioactive:

*texts back 3 weeks later* sorry I fell asleep

(Source: ghostsoldeir)

istoleyourpanties:

quarterclever:

especiallygoodfinder:

nepeter:

australians dont have sex

australians mate

I spat out my coffee

sorry about your image

frICK

(Source: shalrath)

bagmilk:

when your waiter comes out with food but it’s for another table

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(Source: heteroh)

urtube:

sluttyoliveoil:

lliampayne:

one time at starbucks on my cup they wrote “fuck i can’t remember your name”

one time on my cup they wrote “you made this up for notes”

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(Source: musicalbeds)